10 Tips To Get Happy Now
For Many of us, 2020 is a year that we might want to forget. People all around the world report feeling overwhelmed and unhappy. Here in the United States, only 14% of us are happy, which is down from 31% just two years ago. Research conducted by NORC at the University of Chicago confirms what we are feeling. Americans are the unhappiest they have been in the last 50 years. The COVID Response Tracking Study, reports 50% of us feel isolated compared to only 23% in 2018.
I was recently polled by the US Census Bureau to help understand the coronavirus impact on me. Maybe someone has reached out to you to see how you are feeling. There is no question there is a need for us to feel happier. Waiting for a cure, the economy to improve, racial injustice to be solved, and your boss to be better, may cause you to feel less than happy. There are however a few simple things you can do to feel happier:
- Increase your gratitude: Increasing your feelings of gratitude can impact your happiness and so much more. When you are frustrated or upset, you are most likely thinking about what is wrong in your life. Since we get what we focus on, dwelling on frustrations will only erode your happiness. The next time you are experiencing frustration that robs you of happiness, I invite you to focus on an event in your life that brings you intense feelings of gratitude. It could be the birth of a child or an act of kindness that was proffered on your behalf, etc. Our minds cannot focus on negative and positive feelings at the same time. If your grateful feelings are strong enough, they will quickly chase away your frustrations and negative feelings.
- Do something for someone else: For many, the pursuit of happiness is a self-centered process. However, when you take a moment to stop thinking about how events and people impact you and think about how you impact others, you will be much closer to your goal. Helping someone else will allow you to take your focus off your own challenges. It will energize you, give you a sense of value and contribution. Focusing on others who may have needs greater than your own will also increase your gratitude for what you have. You don’t have to look far for opportunities to help someone else. Nor do you have to go to great lengths to make a difference. Take time to notice someone in need. Listen, console, give of your time and labor, write a note or letter, make a positive comment on social media, give a gift, etc.
- Look for the good and the humor: Look for the good in every situation. No matter how bleak things may seem, there is always good to be found. I know from personal experience that when something I perceive as negative happens to me, I have a choice. I can feel self-pity and become depressed, or I can use my creative energy to focus on what good may come. I found that that as I look back on events that were challenging, I invariably gained experienced or developed talents that I might not have had, but for the challenging experience. During the COVID lockdown and social distancing, many people have identified what is funny to them about their circumstances. Our youngest son is in business school Our daughter is in nursing school and our son in-law is in law school. There has been frustration over the quality of online classes. Everyone got a laugh when out son in-law wore his new law school shirt that said Zoom University. Looking for the good puts our creative energy to work for us in our pursuit of happiness.
- Surround yourself with good: Be very careful about what you put into your mind. make sure what you read, watch and listen to reinforces your happiness. Our minds are the most powerful computers in the universe. They search and find whatever we program them to find. This means everything we put into our minds will take us further or closer to our goal of happiness. On our podcast, my friend Christian discussed how he finds watching the news can cause anxiety and frustration. He decided turning off negative news helps him feel happier. Surround yourself with good people. Let them hold you accountable to your goals and let you know when you are off course. Make sure you read good books, listen to good music and watch only media that reinforces good.
- Find some balance: With many people working from home, you might think life balance would be easier. The idea is that the time spent commuting can now be spent with family. What seems to be happing is what is described in Parkinson’s Law. Work is expanding to fill the available time. Some people are working more and not less. There may also be pressure to work harder to make up for lost business. Unemployment is at the highest rate since 1939. As company’s furlough and layoff works, others are left to pick up the slack. Some may also feel pressure to work harder to increase job security. I am finding myself working harder than ever. Life balance is elusive for many, yet setting boundaries about work hours and family time can pay big dividends. Disconnect from your devices, zoom, and work. Read a book. Talk to your friends and neighbors from a short distance and you will see happiness increase.
- Exercise: This is a part of life balance. Exercise releases chemicals that can help you feel great and think more clearly. Take some time away from work. You can expand your energy not your time. Your increased energy will help you be more productive. I recommend getting out side. If you can safely exercise outside, you will feel a catharsis from being in the sun, wind, rain, hot, and cold. It is good for your soul. You will feel happiness return along with the color of your cheeks.
- Develop your talents: Learn something new. Improving your abilities brings a sense of satisfaction and increases your ability to help yourself and others. Now is the perfect time to expand your skills. If you are experiencing a furlough, layoff, or working from home, few things bring greater satisfaction than learning something new. Keeping busy also keeps your mind focused on productive thoughts.
- Avoid criticizing others: Right now, it seems that much of what divides us is being discussed daily on news and social networks. Some argue greater caution, others argue for less restrictions. We are in a political season which can be divisive. Social justice is another sensitive subject for many. We may get frustrated with our friends and family who have opposite views as us. If you want to be happier, avoid criticizing others. If you look for a reason to be frustrated and unhappy, you will surely find it. This builds on the concept of looking for the good. More importantly, how we treat others has a way of coming back to us. Call it karma, law of the harvest, universe or what you will. Thinking good of others will do much to bring those good thoughts back to us.
- Let go of the past: While it is true that we have control over our thoughts, we can’t always control what happens to us. When something bad happens, it is hard to think of the good. Holding on to negative feelings about something or somebody will only rob us of reaching our goal of happiness. We have the power to give meaning to our thoughts. They can only control us if we give them power to do so. Letting go of the past requires us reframe our thoughts. For some, this process may be difficult and require professional assistance. Being willing to get help if you need it is a good thing and will help you get one step closer to being happy.
- Live by a morale code: Some people believe anything goes when pursuing happiness. When you choose to be disciplined in following a moral code, you are closer to finding happiness. A friend of mine shared his experience with this principle with me. When his children were young, he and his wife set boundaries of behavior. They had friends that took a different approach with their children. They chose to let their children behave without boundaries or restrictions. This couple would criticize my friend for being strict with their children. My friend and his wife were more interested in being parents than friends. As the children grew older the results of the two approaches was clear. The children of my friend loved their parents and respected them. They had a strong rewarding relationship which brought happiness. Their friends’ children did not respect their parents. They were self-centered and spoiled which certainly didn’t make the parents happy.
It is not the events or situations of our lives that determine happiness. Rather, it is our own behavior and thought processes. I am sure there are many more ways to be happy than I have listed above. I would love to hear from you. What have you found that makes you happy?
The Author, Spencer Horn, is the president of Altium Leadership Related articles: Is Happiness A Choice? Be Positively Infectious!